It's been nearly a month since I blogged last. The depression really got to me and I had to get back on the Prozac. Man, being open about it is rough but it worked well the last time. I'm going try being on it for a year so I can be stable while I set myself up on the new diet: vegan/gluten-free, an exercise routine, and (with our big move coming up) making friends/getting to know Jairus' family better. So here I go, jumping into the next chapter of my life. Woot! The fact that I stepped up and went to the dr yesterday gave me a nice boost and actually feeling sleepy instead of tired all the time. Yay! Well, goodnight all and here's to the next chapter!
Yikes! It's been awhile! Sure I've been busy, but really, I think I'm avoiding you all. See, I haven't been doing so great--emotionally speaking--these last couple of weeks and I've let things slip. Not as horribly as I could have, but they have slipped and I fell ashamed to admit it. But I know that if I don't, it will only get harder to regain my footing. So, here I am, confessing that I went 6 days without my green lemonade. I don't remember the last time I had my vitamins one day after the next. I am cheating horribly on my "no sugar" rule. I have slipped up by eating chicken at least twice and desperately wanted bacon the other night--so much so that I actually used the excuse that it would be in memory of my late father. *Sigh* There. It's out, and I'm ashamed but I'm moving on. Jairus and I have decided that we're going to try juicing only on days that he has off. (Getting up at 4:30a is really tough on a couple of night owls like us.) I'm going to change my goal concerning sugar from "I will not have sugar" to "I will refrain from sugar." (Not sure why but that helped in the past.) As for vitamins, I don't have a plan for that yet. And my plan for refraining from chicken: I must met some chickens. I'm finding that it is easier to not eat something if I can imagine it dead because the thought makes me sad. Please note, my original intention behind this diet switch was not because of the animals per say! It just kinda happened that I started having sympathy for them. I was giving my dog a bone that we got him as a special treat and as I handed it to him, all I could think about was this poor cow's leg sticking straight up from her mangled body and the flesh -- I'll stop there. It was gross. So, I figure, if I meet some chickens and maybe find out their names or give them names, I'll start feeling more sympathy for the species in general.
Well, I think that's all for tonight.
Here's to tomorrow!
I've been thinking: if I'm making this diet change for my emotional health, then I better change my out look on this diet change! Sure, I messed up this weekend! But at least I caught it! And today, I didn't juice again and I was being really lazy, but around 11a, I picked myself up and cleaned the upstairs and a lot more! I'm doing so much better than I've been paying attention to, and now I'm going to pay more attention to the positivists. It's been a few days since I've weighed myself, but I had lost some weight! At Yoga class last week, I was able to move a lot better and didn't feel like my gut was in the way! As gross as this may be, my bowel movements are becoming more frequent! (Rose talks about this being the most important part of weight loss because if the garbage gets stuck, it'll just add on the pounds!) All in all, I'm doing so well--I never actually believed that I could be this emotionally stable! I'm on freaking cloud 9! (By the way, what is it about cloud 9 that's so awesome? Mr Tate never assigned that term for us in high school!) Alright folks! I'm off to bed now so that tomorrow I can juice and get my day started the way it aught to!
Here's to tomorrow!
Stats:
Weight - (a few days ago) 179-3/4!
Green Lemonades - 21
I've been forgetting things lately--a lot. I forgot my supplements two days in a row! The most important of which was the St John's Wart, 5-HTP, Evening Primrose and Vitamin D. All of which are for my depression. I didn't realize exactly how important those were! I'm way more tired, my passion for proper diet is waning, I'm not feeling confident--it's amazing how that can all slip away so fast! Because of all this, I started my day off with the Green Lemonade, like usual, and 5-HTP! I got the rest of my vitamins in at lunch.
Changing the subject: My milk is coming in much better! I was a little concerned about how my milk production would be if I was eating even less meat than before. I skipped ahead in the Raw Food Detox Diet to where Rose talks about nursing, kids, and teens. She shared her experience with her waning milk supply. After being told to eat stake, ice cream and other foods like those, she realized that cows make milk without eating all of that! They eat tons of grass! She started consuming 2 lbs of greens every day! And her supply came in better! I was very encouraged to read that. It has been even more encouraging to experience it for myself! I have also noticed that my daughter, Jessenya, doesn't seem so ... picky? Things had to be just so--granted, girls just seem to be that way--but she isn't so finicky. She really seems to have calmed down! I'm sure it has to do with the nutrition she's getting from the Green Lemonade! Oh, Green Lemonade; as a wise man once said, "You are loved like a fat man loves his cake!"
Stats:
Weight - Probably around the same.
Green Lemonades - 10... wait... I messed up my counting... I'm at 12! Woot!
My son drank Green Lemonade yesterday! And he liked it! Woohoo! I cannot fully express to you all how excited I am! He barely tolerates veggies and there he was yesterday, sipping on his grandma's Green Lemonade! Talk about awesome "whole food" baby vitamin!
Aside from that, the diet has been going well! Last Sunday was the only time I've had meat since the sushi incident and it was only turkey. I would have been able to make myself a veggie sandwich, but I waited too long to go make it. As for "sugar-free," I'm doing well with that also--it has been hard though! I keep forgetting what that I can't have things: soda, lattes, chai lattes, most chocolate--I'm even giving up stuff with evaporated cane juice in it! That limits things even more! Thankfully Jairus has been helping me keep an eye on things. Yesterday we went to Dutch Bros and I brought my own cup with some vanilla extract and agave nectar. Unfortunately, the gentleman making my order dumped dirty water in it and I had to have a plain iced latte instead--which it didn't taste too bad! He was incredibly sorry and gave us the drink for free and extra punches on our punch card! It could have been worse.
Overall, I'm feeling very empowered by this diet change--even if I'm only doing baby steps! I'm feeling more alive and ... functional? I feel like I'm actually interacting with my spouse and children! I'm enjoying the activities of day to day life! I'm taking a yoga class and I went out on my own to run an errand! I am healthy! There have been so many times in the last week where I could have given into the depression and I didn't! Every one of those opportunities, I have met head on with honesty and determination. I caught myself spiraling, took action and dealt with the real issue in a healthy manner. My mind may be slippery, but it's awake! Yesterday, I weighed myself and I have lost 4 pounds! I'm feeling more mobile and a tiny bit more trim! The results are fantastic and it's only the second week! I'm so excited!
Stats:
Weight - 181!
Green Lemonades - 9
So I skipped blogging yesterday because I didn't do much of anything healthy. I did get up early with Jairus and drink my Green Lemonade. But let me back up and share how my night went.
I took a detox bath --late, but I got it in! The recipe (for those who are interested) is:
-16oz lemon juice
-1 box baking soda
-2 scoops Arbonne Unwind Bath Salts (optional)
And before that I used a natural bristle body brush for a detox method that Natalia Rose suggests on page 58 in The Raw Food Detox Diet. I felt great after! And I noticed the next day that my stretch marks didn't look as pronounced! It was awesome!
We got to sleep late but I was feeling great! We went to bed around 11:30 and an hour later I woke up thinking that the detoxing was working--it turns out that I had food poisoning. How cool is that. *Sigh* So I got even less sleep then I would have and I was really weak when I got up in the morning. So the whole day I did virtually nothing. I didn't eat right, I didn't do anything around the house--it sucked. And it sucked because at some point I was feeling better physically but emotionally I was checked out. It's probably because--despite the good start that I had--I didn't follow through with the "goodness." I fell into old habits and didn't listen to the promptings from within to do something healthy, mostly turn off the TV. And again I didn't go to sleep when I should have! Grrr.
But today I forced myself to do stuff around the house! And eventually I started to feel better! I ate right (maybe not enough to eat, but I ate right!) and I got stuff done and (more importantly) I spent 45 solid minutes reading to my son! And then 15 minutes playing with my daughter! It was amazing! Yay!
So not so much about diet for the last couple days, but one day at a time! See you tomorrow!
Stats:
Weight - Low 180s
Green Lemonades - 4
Properly combined meals - 5
Today was one of those mornings where the thought of waking up repulsed me. I was so incredibly tired and it's my own fault! Harry Potter really isn't THAT awesome; I shouldn't be giving it the precious hours I have to sleep. The lack of sleep is messing with the results of my experiment! *Sigh* Not to mention my interactions with my family. I was able to see with deafening clarity (yes, the sight was such that I could hear it) that dieting alone is not going to give me the results that I want as far as my mental & emotional health goes. I'm going to have to throw myself into all aspects of self -care if I'm going to beat out the Postpartum Depression without medication. A good night's sleep every night, a refreshing shower every evening, an early start to my day so I can have "me-time" before the kids wake up, and a healthy diet are all necessary for my health. So, I am now committing myself to taking my shower between 8:30p-9:00p, being in bed by 10:00p, and waking up at 6:00a.
Alright, now that I have that out of my system!
I stuck to my Green Lemonade for this morning! A whole 32 oz! It tasted much better this time--we put in more ginger and it helped even the flavor out a lot more. We ate a breakfast of Rainer Cherries, blueberries, and gooseberries. After our last midwife appointment, we swung by Chipotle and cheated on the properly combined lunch. My lunch time philosophy has become as such: If I have the drive to eat a properly combined meal, I will do so, if not, I will eat a healthy meal! And it's worked out okay so far. Of course it's only day two. Rose explains the "Quick Exit Combinations" on pages 34 and 35:
"The first thing you want to do is eat foods that are the easiest to digest and move out of the body. (Please refer to the Quick Exit Hierarchy of Food on page 27.) The second thing to do is eat these foods in "quick exit combinations." This means that when you make a meal out of high-quality, quick exit foods, the combinations of the foods in your meal should also be as easy as possible to digest. As you've learned, the quicker the food is digested, the less waste matter it will leave."
So the categories for foods that she lists are:
1) Starches
2) Fleshes
3) Nuts/Seeds/Dried Fruit
4) Fresh Fruit
Rose explains that none of these should mixed together because doing so causes putrefaction in the stomach leading to the body spending more time digesting and less time with waste management throughout the entire body. Raw veggies, however, can be mixed with any of these categories! However, mixing anything with fresh fruit isn't suggested. She shares that cooked veggies combine well with the first two categories to make a good solid meal. Some where else (regrettably I cannot remember exactly where) Rose explains that ideally we should wait 30 minute after consuming fresh fruit before continuing on to the next meal or snack and that approximately 3 hours should be given after eating a properly combined meal before having a snack.
All of this to briefly explain what I'm talking about when I say "properly combined meals." Alright! So now it's time for me to move on with the rest of my day! Here's to tomorrow!
Stats:
Weight - 185 (I got to use a scale today.... I wept inside!)
Green Lemonades: 2
Properly combined meals: 3
